I Overthink Every thing—How Do I Stay within the Now?


Ask a Witch is StyleCaster’s recommendation column providing sage recommendation and sensible magic for contemporary issues. Each Friday, our resident witch Roya Backlund will reply your most weak conundrums by way of the lens of astrology, Tarot, and spirituality. Submit inquiries to askawitch@stylecaster.com, alongside along with your start info—date, time, and placement—in addition to start info for different events concerned, you probably have it. Hex what vexes you: Ask a Witch.

Expensive Roya,

How do I cease overthinking each facet of my life? I do know it’s in all probability commonplace to listen to this from a 20-year-old lady, however I actually battle to dwell within the second. I think about myself a reasonably assured particular person, however overthinking holds me again in life.

A witch woman holding up three Tarot cards, standing in front of an orange background, getting ready to give someone life-saving advice using astrology.

A witch woman holding a candelabra in purple tones, standing in front of an orange background, getting ready to give someone life-saving advice using astrology.

Overthinking my interactions with others has been an enormous drawback for me, particularly with boys. I’m very outgoing and talkative, however once I discover somebody enticing, I often assume they gained’t be all for me. I attempt to defend myself from rejection, as a result of I’m always questioning if folks assume I’m bizarre, annoying, or unattractive—even when I don’t actually care about them.

I get anxious issues will go badly if I don’t make a superb impression, however I wouldn’t name myself a pessimist per se—I’m typically a really optimistic particular person! My overthinking simply makes me really feel insecure about myself and my choices. I attempt to push previous it—and infrequently, I do. However generally I’ll do one thing and assume to myself, What did I simply do? With boys particularly, generally I’d relatively do nothing than put myself on the market.

That mentioned, nothing makes me extra anxious than fascinated about my future. My lifelong dream is to be an actress. I’d like to attend appearing faculty after commencement, however I don’t come from a rich household, so I get nervous I gained’t be capable to help myself. I attempt to make sensible choices to set myself up for fulfillment, nevertheless it’s exhausting to know for positive if I’m on the correct path.

How do I cease holding myself again by overthinking every thing?

Sincerely,
Apparent Overthinker

Photograph: Alexander Bemis. Design: Sasha Purdy/StyleCaster

Expensive Apparent Overthinker,

Earlier than you begin believing one thing is improper with you, let’s simply get one factor straight—there’s nothing extra human than being an overthinker. Human beings are designed to always scan our environments for threats, as a result of in prehistoric instances, we needed to be looking out for potential hazard always. Residing within the current second might come at a price, particularly if it causes you to decrease your guard in opposition to predators and unseen enemies. To be able to survive, you at all times needed to be fascinated about searching and gathering in your subsequent meal and discovering a secure place to sleep at evening. However you’re not residing within the wild historical world anymore—you’re residing in fashionable civilization. Nevertheless, your primal instincts are nonetheless on alert, and your physique is unaware of the truth that you don’t have to fret about the identical threats anymore. Residing within the now is just not at all times simple, and generally, it could actually really feel as if you must rewire your complete mind in an effort to merely be current.

Whereas everybody can relate to the sensation of being on the mercy of your individual obsessive pondering, a few of us actually battle with this greater than others. And there’s at all times a deeper purpose why you’re ruminating the previous and worrying in regards to the future as an alternative of residing within the now.

Instantly, I can see a number of issues in your start chart that time to your inside turmoil. You have been born along with your solar in Libra forming a combusted conjunction along with your Mercury in Libra, which causes you to always weigh execs and cons. In astrology, Libra is symbolically tied to the “scales,” which is one purpose you possibly can’t cease fascinated about the worst potential consequence of any given scenario. So as to add insult to damage, your sun-Mercury conjunction can be located in your twelfth home of unconscious and non secular energies, which makes you the kind of one that will get swept up in their very own inside world. This implies you possibly can both daydream your self into a superb temper or fear your self right into a full-blown nightmare. It’s not at all times simple so that you can inform truth from fiction, however that doesn’t imply there’s something “improper” with you. It merely means you must discover methods to get grounded earlier than you get carried away. (Study extra about your Mercury signal)

Socializing has at all times been one thing you’ve felt significantly nervous about, which is why your overthinking tends to have an effect on your interactions and maintain you again in your relationships. In spite of everything, you have been born along with your Chiron within the third home of communication, and in astrology, Chiron is an asteroid that represents your deepest wound and your lifelong makes an attempt to heal that wound. This may increasingly imply that whereas rising up, you have been shamed or embarrassed for making an attempt to talk your thoughts or join with others. And people scars have remained with you, as your Chiron can be squaring off along with your Mercury in Libra, emphasizing your concern even additional. Nevertheless, the attention-grabbing factor about Chiron is it additionally comprises one in all your deepest strengths—your potential to heal others. And with Chiron in your communication sector, you possibly can train others to beat their concern of talking up—who can set an instance for the way to decide on your phrases properly and in a manner that brings folks up relatively than tears folks down. (Study extra in regards to the asteroids of astrology.)

The way in which you overanalyze the previous and the longer term will also be defined by the truth that your Scorpio rising is squaring off with Uranus, planet of sudden modifications and unpredictability. When Uranus is concerned, there’s no telling what might occur subsequent, as Uranus has a thoughts of its personal and no plan to observe. As a result of your natal Uranus can be located at 29 levels—probably the most climactic diploma in astrology—you at all times really feel as if you’re teetering over the sting of one thing main. And whereas Uranus can carry thrilling modifications, it could actually additionally shatter your actuality only for the sake of spicing issues up. You’re very aware of feeling like something can change on the drop of a hat, which makes you hyper-aware of all of the ifs, ands, or buts.

All of this may occasionally sound like dangerous information, however I urge to vary. You may have the start chart of somebody who might turn out to be well-known at some point—somebody who shall be remembered lengthy after they die. Not solely do you might have placements within the twelfth home of spirituality—which means your vitality might linger lengthy after you allow this world—however you even have two “fame levels” in your start chart. Your natal Uranus is at 29 levels, which symbolizes fame that outlasts your life. Your fortune placement can be in Leo at 17 levels, which symbolizes long-lasting notoriety. And along with your fortune placement located in your tenth home of public picture, I’ve little question that you could be at some point develop up and turn out to be somebody who may be very well-known in your subject. (Study extra in regards to the 12 homes of astrology.)

You say you’ve at all times wished to be an actress, and your start chart helps this initiative. You’re a Scorpio rising, which suggests your chart ruler is your Mars in Pisces, located within the fifth home of enjoyable, pleasure, and creativity. This makes you a toddler at coronary heart, and everybody within the appearing world is aware of that kids make the most effective performers. They’re untainted by the disgrace and inhibition related to maturity, giving them direct entry to a divine supply of creativity. You have been born with that entry, and it’ll maintain you for the remainder of your life.

Nevertheless, you’re proper that your loved ones and the circumstances of your start might not be what takes you there. You have been born along with your Most cancers moon forming an actual conjunction with Saturn—planet of limitations and duty—which may point out that you could be, in some methods, really feel tied down by the place you come from. Your loved ones is extremely heat and loving—as evidenced by the truth that your moon is in its dwelling signal of Most cancers—however with the added strain from Saturn, you could be used to caring for your loved ones as an alternative of counting on them for assist. (Study extra about your Saturn placement.)

You might be certainly not a nepo child who will obtain success as a result of your father has connections in Hollywood. You might be somebody who will obtain fame by way of a totally spontaneous and surprising state of affairs. An accident might pave the way in which in your probability to realize greatness. A stunning flip of occasions might encourage your greatest efficiency. You have already got the expertise and creativity to make it far, nevertheless it’s by way of a lightning-bolt shock that your life might be propelled towards fame and glory. All of that is to say that sure, you could be an overthinker, however you’re additionally hyper-aware of each single chance that sits in entrance of you. And it’s by way of your hyperawareness and tendency to overthink that you just would possibly come across a once-in-a-lifetime alternative that takes you to stardom.

If residing within the current second is simpler for another person, it could be as a result of they’re proper the place they’re meant to be. However you’re meant for one thing greater—one thing grander.

Dreamily,
Roya

About Roya

Roya Backlund is StyleCaster’s Senior Way of life & Astrology Editor and knowledgeable witch. Born in Los Angeles on Could 26—the identical day as Stevie Nicks—she’s been obsessive about the zodiac since she found she was a Gemini as a toddler. Her curiosity in mysteries and the occult started within the metaphysical part at her native Borders. When you’re a fan of astrology, spirituality, and witchcraft, you’ve in all probability learn her horoscopes and life-style articles, which have appeared elsewhere in Elite Each day, PopSugar, Astrology.com, and extra. Whether or not you need to delve deeper into your start chart or interpret indicators out of your spirit guides, Roya’s obtained you lined.

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